whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
