i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
