y did u give ur computer a hand job?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Randomize
