I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
