So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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