I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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