Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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