I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
