The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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