There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
