I am in a vortex of obligation.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize