Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
