remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
