the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
