That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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