after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
