I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
