I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
