come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry about my life...
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