i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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