i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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