Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
