Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
