Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
