and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
