we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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