im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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