I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
