New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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