My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize