I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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