My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
