Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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