he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
