On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
