Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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