are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i believe in u and ur pee
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize