They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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