ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
