i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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