Say something about gay babies.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
