I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
