Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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