his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
