We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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