all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
