I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize