I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
...so i touched it.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
