well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
