and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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