Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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