Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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