my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
