That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
