she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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