thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
