im having a threesome with these popsicles
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
